20 Things

* NaBloPoMo: Day 21 *

Today … enjoy 20 Random Facts about me.

  1. Full Name: Kimberly Renee (Benner) Calland
  2. Three Fears:
    1. Fire:  I have a situational/irrational fear of fire. I can handle a nice camp fire that is contained and I don’t mind burning candles in my house, but I my last house had a fireplace and I was terrified to start a fire in it. And fire that seems to me to be out of control in any way terrifies me. This is also one way I really, really would not want to die. Also I am consistantly terrified that my car is going to randomly burst into flames on the freeway. Note the irrational disclaimer at the beginning of this section.
    2. Spiders:  Yes. I’m afraid of spiders. Shut it. Don’t judge me. Spiders are creepy and freaky and I hate them.
    3. Disappointing My Children:  Probably the one fear that is most likely to actually come true. As a mom, I’m always concerned with doing the best I can for my kids. Keeping them happy and healthy and well cared for is my most important job. Now that my life circumstances have changed, this job terrifies me. On a daily basis I find myself wondering what they think of me and if they understand how much I love them and that I’d do anything for them and I worry every minute that what I’m doing is the right thing. #reallifefear
  3. Three Things I Love:
    1. My Kids:  I went with the obvious answer first.
    2. Music:  Music is a very big part of my life and the life of my kids. We all sing and have since we were young(er). Music helps me express emotions, gives me an outlet for the side of me that is a performer, allows me to be brave and put myself out there, and acts as a sort of therapy sometimes. I can’t imagine my life without music.
    3. Food:  I. Love. Food. All of the food.
  4. Last Song I Listened To:  “Kiss The Sky” – Jason Derulo  –  I love Jason Derulo.
  5. Four Turn Ons:
    1. Kindness:  There is nothing sexier than a strong, kind man. Not kindness because it looks good, but kindness because it’s inherent. Because it is just what you do.
    2. Sense of Humor:  I love laughing. Major bonus points if you can keep me laughing every day.
    3. Love of Music:  Music is one of the biggest “things” in my life – aside from my kids – so having a love and appreciation for music is not just a turn on but a requirement.
    4. Optimism:  I’m an optomistic person. I generally see the glass as half full and also usually see the best in people. Or at least try to. In the past I know this has driven people crazy, as I am usually looking for the bright/good side of things and some people just don’t think that way. So, someone with optimism, love that.
  6. Three Turn Offs:
    1. Negativity: As much as kindness and optimism are important to me – negativity is more than just a turn off. I don’t like it. I’m an empathetic person, I don’t know that I’d go as far as to say I’m an Empath, but I do know that negativity reallty effects me. In a very bad way. Being around negativity for too puts me in a bad mood and exhausts me. Probably because I’m spending all of my brain power and energy on offsetting the negative energy with my own positive energy. Negative people suck out my life force and make me sad. And I forget how much I really hate negativity until I end up around it and it drags me into a shitty mood. Negativity sucks.
    2. Self-Centeredness:  If you are the most important person in your own life … I don’t need you in mine.
    3. Laziness:  I don’t mean sitting around for much of a weekend every now and then or spending a Saturday binge watching on Netflix. But doing that 98% of the time … not so much. Sitting around like that too much makes me tired and depressed. I don’t even mean “working” but just not sitting around all the time. Go for a walk or a hike. Wander around the mall and look at the shit I can’t afford to buy. Go to an antique shop. Just every now and then. Get off the couch and get out in the world.
  7. How Many Tattoos/Piercings Do I Have: For now, I only have my ears pierced. For now. Hoping to change that soon. And (as I’ve said before) I’m pretty certain once I start down the Tattoo Road I won’t be able to stop. And I’m totally cool with that.
  8. What Is Your Go-To Order At Starbucks: Most times it would be a Quad Venti Carmel Macchiato. Some days just a good old fashioned Americano. During the Fall/Winter I like a good Holiday Spice Flat White or – my new favorite – the Chile Mocha. Generally if I ever get a flavored drink, I get an extra shot of espresso.
  9. Something I Really, Really, Want: Happiness. Fairly simple and yet extremely difficult to find for real.
  10. The Meaning Behind My Blog Name:  I have to admit – I 100% stole this phrase from someone else. Some friends of mine are in a quartet and at a rehearsal (if I remember the story correctly) one of them was thinking of the phrase “catch lightning in a bottle,” but instead said “catch fire in a bucket.” It became a bit of a thing, we’d use the hashtag #fireinabucket when posting pictures and other stuff in regards to the quartet, and when I was trying to think of something to call this place it came to mind. So thanks to Jon and his quartet The Regulars for being the inspiration behind the name of my blog.
  11. Someone I Miss: My dad. I really, really miss my dad. Every single day. He’s been gone for 17 years this year and I still miss him every day.
  12. Favorite Part of My Daily Routine: Most weekdays I get up early enough to leave myself a good 30 minutes to just sit and enjoy my coffee and read whatever book (or one of the books) I’m currently reading. I also read many evenings before I go to bed, but I really enjoy this slow entry into my day. No one else is awake and there is no TV or computer on anywhere in the house. Just me and my coffee and a blanket and a book. Love that.
  13. Something That Is Currently Worrying Me: Making Christmas awesome for my kids. I know it’s not about the “stuff” and luckily my kids have been raised to know that … but still. I want it to be a great Christmas for them and I really hope I can make that happen.
  14. Where Were You 3 Hours Ago: At home trying to convince myself that coming in to work was a good idea. The jury is still out.
  15. Where I Work: I work as an Administrative Assistant in a Real Estate office.
  16. Something That’s Constantly On My Mind:  My 100% honest answer: Money. I’m in a pretty shitty place financially right now. The worst I’ve ever been in. I knew it would be like this, so I’m not complaining or looking for pity. Just stating that this is constantly on my mind. I’ve done the single mom thing before, but honestly back then I was making more per paycheck and my rent was about half what I pay now. It’s tough. A constant struggle. One that I am not alone with – there are many, many, many people and families out there living just like this. So far I’m pulling it off and pushing through – working towards better days, which I know will come eventually. But until then … I’m constantly thinking about the money.
  17. Three Habits I Have:
    1. I Hum. This is a habit I didn’t even realize I had until it was pointed out to me recently by two different people. I hum, sort of quietly and under my breath, much of the time. When I’m walking just about anywhere, in the car (if music isn’t playing), at the grocery store, at work, around the house. I hum.
    2. I chew on my fingers. If I have a hangnail or some dry skin on my fingers, I bite at it.  I’m not a traditional nail biter but I do still manage to often times be chewing on my fingers.
    3. I’m a leadfoot. I have a bad habit of driving fast, kind of all the time. It’s a problem. The fact that I don’t have a lovely collection of speeding tickets is kind of a miracle.
  18. My Idea Of A Perfect Date:  It would need to include food, drinks, music, and a fun activity. In some combination. I’m a pretty easy date, it really doesn’t take much. Dinner could be as simple as pizza or wings, maybe stopping somewhere to play pool or throw darts, maybe bowling. Most likely there would be music playing wherever the activity is taking place. Bingo – great date criteria achieved.
  19. Do You Like Bubble Baths: I love bubble baths. I don’t take them too often though. My current tub is small-ish and if I can’t fit all of my body in the water, it’s not as relaxing or enjoyable for me. Drawback of having certain body parts of a larger size – they don’t fit in the tub with the rest of me. #firstworldproblems
  20. A Photo of Myself: This is from a few years ago … but my hair is almost this length again. And the soft, warm light hides all the wrinkles and gray hair. So bonus.


One Reply to “20 Things”

  1. I was just given a whole pail of lemons not long ago. What did I do? Lemonade? Nah…I cut them up and served them w booze…in many styles!!! The glass IS ALWAYS half way there…it is what it is. Singing IS great therapy. Great release of anxiety and pent-up anger amd/or sadness. Can’t be sad while ya sing. I’d head to the dollar store for some fun decorations for Christmas time. Heck…make it like a Birthday party for the little Baby Jesus in that white, one piece, tuxeder tee shirt!!! It is His birthday ya know. The tub? Hmm…you’re just gonna have to be whisked away to a little wooded cottage with a big claw foot tub, or between yet, a jacuzzi outside looking up at them thar stars. They’re great to wish on. Whatever happens, Ms Bucket, don’t give up, don’t ever give up. Keep singing, keep smiling, and keep loving those kids of yours. You’ll be looking back on this and laughing one day. I know it!!! 😀

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