Ya’ll Gonna Make Me Lose My Mind

I have never really considered myself much of a believer or follower of the kinds of spiritual beliefs or practices hat talk about “energy.” As many people do, I’m sure at one point or another, I scoffed at such things. Made rude comments or unkind jokes. You know, like humans do when faced with something they don’t understand. Don’t understand something? Tear it down. Make fun of it. Seems almost like a national pastime these days. But I digress. I didn’t come here to talk about the general lack of compassion and the inability (or unwillingness) to understand (or want to understand) other people/concepts/ideas/thoughts/beliefs/etc. I came here to talk about energy. Specifically negative energy.

I am in a place where I find myself surrounded by it daily. For large portions of the day. And it is starting to really, REALLY effect me. Not in a good way.

I have worked very hard over the last several years to change my outlook on life to be one of positivity. I’ve tried very hard, and continue to make a conscious effort daily, to not worry about the little things. To just let that shit go. Eliminate as much needless worry as possible and stop expending energy on stupid shit. Well, not really stupid shit, but all of the shit I can’t control. These efforts have made quite a difference. I have in no way eliminated worry or stress from my life, but I have reduced it. I have cut way back on the whole “stewing” about things part of worry. I have made very purpousful decisions about how I will let worry and stress effect me. I know that I annoy people when I say: “It is what it is,” but that phrase really helps me. There are a lot of things in life that you actually have ZERO control over. If you have no control over it, why let it control how you feel and react and respond. Your worrying or stressing about it is NOT going to change it. All you accomplish is generating needless bad feelings and unhappiness. Doing what I can daily to just let shit go has really helped me.

But over the last several weeks the veil of negativity is falling over my life again. I find my self having a much harder time not allowing the negative people I run across on a daily basis get to me. I end up every day cranky and angry and in a flat out foul mood. I have daily headaches that, from what I can tell, are just due to the anticipation and wonder of just how shitty my next day is going to make me feel. I’m exhausted from spending my days talking myself off the ledge. Breathing. Stretching. Looking at puppies online. Whatever I can do to try to offset this negative fog I find myself in. Now, some days are better than others. They aren’t all horrific. But the bad days are becoming more frequent and lasting longer and longer. I don’t like it.

Something has got to give. I’m hoping to get off my ass and start running again, hopefully that will help some. I’m going on an honest-to-God vacation in a couple of weeks. It will only be four short days, but it will be two days away from work and hopefully will help me at least a little. Maybe a little mini-recharge will be just what I need. Hopefully. If not I fear that I will need some of ya’ll to gather together with some bail money. Because some shit is gonna go down.

 

Long Time No Stuff

It has officially been a long-ass time since I’ve written anything.  I credit the fact that my life has been pretty nice recently and I haven’t had any emotional shitstorms to work through. But to be honest, if I’m gonna do this blog thing, I need to do it no matter what. So this is my official attempt to get back to it.

Due to my utter lack of creativity … I pulled this list of questions off of Pinterest and will now attempt to answer them. Some of them are kind of benign and some are approaching deeper waters. The deep water thing is difficult for me sometimes so I will consider this a growing experience. Ladies and gentlemen, I present:

“10 Questions You Never Thought To Ask”

 

1: If you could spend one day in someone else’s shoes, who would it be and why?  Jennifer Lawrence.  Becuase really … she seems like she has a pretty awesome life, right? She’s young and pretty and cool and very smart-assy. She hangs out with cool people. Totally would be J-Law for a day.

2: Which celebrity gets on your nerves the most and why?  Oh Lord have mercy there are way too many to even begin thinking about it. Pretty much any rediculous reality TV person or the “celebrities” who are famous for no reason. I will say that “gets on my nerves” is kind of a strong statment. Really I just don’t pay any amount of attention to them for them to actually get on my nerves in the first place.

3: If your life were a novel, what would the title be?  “WTF Just Happened: I Really Have No Idea What I’m Doing”

 

 

4: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?  A Large Animal Vet. I grew up in the “country-ish” and thought for sure I’d be a vet. The book series by James Herriot detailing his exploits as a country vet in England was my favorite as a kid. I read the whole series multiple times. I love everything about the idea of being a “country vet.” The dogs and cats, yes, but also the cows and horses and goats and pigs. There was something intriguing to me about being armpit deep in a cow, checking on her baby. And delivering a baby cow … forget about it. How freaking cool would that be?!?

 

 

5: How old were you when you had your first kiss?  Pretty sure my first little kid peck of a kiss was with Tim Pitcock in the hayloft of the barn on his family farm. We were in Kindergarden.  Yep.

6: Do you have any strange or unique phobias?  I have a fairly irrational fear of gas powered cooking devices. To the point where I am absolutley terrified of things like gas stoves and gas grills. I have used a gas stove but to this day have never actually turned on and used a gas grill.  They freak the shit out of me.  Somewhere in my brain all I can see is the damn thing blowing up in my face. I have no idea why I am so afraid of them. I’ve never been personally involved in a gas explosion. But damn they scare me.

 

 

7: If you could bring back one toy from your childhood, what would it be and why?  My BMX bike from my teen years for sure. God I lived on that thing. If I wasn’t out playing in the creek, I was on my bike. Going back further, that Fisher Price Barnyard with the animals stands out vividly in my memory.  I played the hell out of that thing.  Also … Legos. I don’t even need to say any more about that.

8: If you knew today was the last day of your life, how would you spend it?  Doing whatever the fuck I wanted to. I’d start with waking up to zero alarms. Screw alarms. I’d have some coffee and lots of bacon for breakfast, maybe with some other stuff … maybe not. I’d hang out with my kids and Mike and his kids all day. I’d spend as much of it sitting in the sun by a pool as possible, a beach would be even better. I’d drink fun adult beverages in the sun surrounded by my loved ones, reading a book and doing zero things. This

 

is just about as perfect a day as I could have anyway, and why not spend your last day relaxed and happy?

9: If you had to describe yourself using only three words, what would they be?  Caring, Sarcastic, Optimistic

 

10: If you could be any Disney villan, who would you be?  Yzma from Emperor’s New Groove. She is described as “comically eccentric” and I can identify with that. Also, she gets to work with Kronk and let’s face it … I love me some Kronk.

So … that’s that. Some kind of weird questions, but, I’m kind of weird so it all works out. What about you? Any of these questions tickle your fancy? Have any equally weird answers? Are you also quite certain your gas grill is going to kill you? Would you like to stick your arm in a cow’s arse? Let me know in the comments!!