6 Little Men

For Christmas, a friend got me six little plastic men that are designed to work as drink markers. My “Drinking Buddies.” They literally hang off the side of a glass by their hands. Please note (see above) that these men are largely nude, wearing basically a speedo. They are named and everything.

They day she gave them to me, we quickly discovered that these guys can actually hang off of all kinds of things. We immediatly hung almost all of them in various and random places around the apartment, and when my daughter got home, we challenged her to find them all. The 6 Little Men Game was born.

At first, my son would simply move one or two of them every few days and announce such to me. (Let me say right up front … I am really, really, REALLY bad at this game. Now, I don’t have a large apartment at all. Small living space, small-ish kitchen, 3 bedrooms, and a bath. There is a limited supply of places to hang these little men … and I can NEVER find them without some serious help.)

Last week he took the game to a whole new level. We have a whiteboard on the fridge, for messages, shopping lists, and what not. He has started using it for little nerdy games he creates, or just straight up sarcasm and shenanigans. One evening last week I came home from work to find this on the fridge:

I spent two evenings on my own searching for these damned plastic men. To the point where I was frustrated and approaching outright anger at myself. I am clearly blind as a fucking bat.

After two nights on my own, I ask for some clarification. “Which rooms are they in?” is always my first question. And, as I’ve learned to pay attention to detail, I asked “Are they all ‘hanging’ or are some of them simply ‘hidden?”

He answered that they were all in the living room and that only one of them was actually hanging from something.

I did a bit more looking on my own that night and then break down and start asking help, to which he starts giving me hints. Sarcastic, archaic, and sometimes hysterical, hints.

It took most of an evening, but with a lot of help and hints and some research on the internet (yes … that happened … see below

I managed to find them all. He got pretty creative with his placement and I laughed at the places he found to hide them.

I also got super pissed at myself for being so bad at it.

Blind. As. A. Fucking. Bat.

To circle back on his hints: I had found all but one of them. His hit for the last guy was: “What disease peaks in February?” Now, I don’t know if it was the unbelievably random and seemingly unrelated nature of the hint that threw me …but I suddenly became the stupidest person on earth. I had zero clue where he was going with this and my brain went to all of the most ridiculous places. He continued with “You can control this with a shot.” and so … naturally … I immediately went to things like Diabetes and Allergies. Because that makes total sense. I’m an idiot. His last hint was “It was very popular in Spain.” and that that point I was done. This did the exact opposite of helping me. It also made me realize two things 1) when I finally figured this out I was gonna hate myself forever, and 2) my son has an amazing brain.

After some more questions, a shit-ton of laughing, and some internet research I finally figured out the disease he was speaking of was THE FREAKING FLU and the last guy was hiding in a box of tissues.

I had now spent three full days humiliating myself with my son and my total ineptitude at this game. But I had found all four of the men, in “easy mode” mind you, and checked the boxes off the white board.

The next morning I wake up to this:

This kid. He’s the best thing ever.

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