Lessons From My Son

So last night I had a “date night” of sorts with my son. I won a gift card to a restaurant over the holiday and it’s a place he loves that we never get to go to, ’cause it isn’t a favorite of everyone in the family. So when we have a night alone together, I try to take him there. We also got him some new gloves and had a new key made (so he can get into the house again – until he loses it … again) and generally had an evening to just kind of hang out.

During the driving around and dinner, we were listening to a favorite podcast (Rooster Teeth) and just talking about stuff. Somehow we got on Urban Dictionary word definitions. We got there via talking about Cards Against Humanity … so yeah … it was that kind of conversation.


He was telling me that he learned some things he didn’t ever want to know by looking up terms from a Cards Against Humanity Game on the Urban Dictionary. Then somehow we got to looking up the definition of your name. I went first and the first couple were funny:

kim def 1

Okay, I can live with that.

kim def 2

Truth. I’ve never met Chuck Norris and I’m pretty sure it’s because he is terrified of me.

Then … it got a little interesting:

kim def 3

Then … it got just plain WTF is going on style weird:

kim def 11

So … after laughing at a bunch of really strange definitions of my name, and discovering that a lot of people named Kim and have had some strong and interesting impacts on the lives of people who post things on Urban Dictionary, we switched to Jamison’s name. His “Top Definition” started off pretty standard and then took a bit of a turn:

jamison def 1

“… bury you in the woods.” Um … okay then. As I was laughing at this, my son chimed in with a very knowing tone: “You should read the second one!” Now, this obviously means that he’s checked his name on Urban Dictionary and the second definition in the list made enough of an impact on him that he remembered it:

jamison def 2

Absolutely amazing. I like to think that in his heart, my son believes that the first sentence in this definition is the true meaning of his name. Also, that “used in a sentence” example is pretty epic. The middle of this is a bit odd – but the beginning and end – totally my son.

He only had two pages of definitions compared to the bajillion for my name. But there were a couple of note:

jamison def 3

Again, many aspects of this are totally him. It does begin to ramble a bit though.

And then there was this one:

jamison def 5

For all the definitions about how amazing Jamison is … I guess it sucks to live there.

However you look at it .. my definitions all have a common theme and so do his. And his basic theme is true. He’s an awesome person. A friend just recently told me that, even at 15, you can already tell that Jamison is going to grow up to be a basically awesome human being. He has a fantastic sense of humor, he is smart, he is quick, he is kind.

And if you ever play Cards Against Humanity against him … he will most likely kick your ass.

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