Long Time No Stuff

It has officially been a long-ass time since I’ve written anything.  I credit the fact that my life has been pretty nice recently and I haven’t had any emotional shitstorms to work through. But to be honest, if I’m gonna do this blog thing, I need to do it no matter what. So this is my official attempt to get back to it.

Due to my utter lack of creativity … I pulled this list of questions off of Pinterest and will now attempt to answer them. Some of them are kind of benign and some are approaching deeper waters. The deep water thing is difficult for me sometimes so I will consider this a growing experience. Ladies and gentlemen, I present:

“10 Questions You Never Thought To Ask”

 

1: If you could spend one day in someone else’s shoes, who would it be and why?  Jennifer Lawrence.  Becuase really … she seems like she has a pretty awesome life, right? She’s young and pretty and cool and very smart-assy. She hangs out with cool people. Totally would be J-Law for a day.

2: Which celebrity gets on your nerves the most and why?  Oh Lord have mercy there are way too many to even begin thinking about it. Pretty much any rediculous reality TV person or the “celebrities” who are famous for no reason. I will say that “gets on my nerves” is kind of a strong statment. Really I just don’t pay any amount of attention to them for them to actually get on my nerves in the first place.

3: If your life were a novel, what would the title be?  “WTF Just Happened: I Really Have No Idea What I’m Doing”

 

 

4: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?  A Large Animal Vet. I grew up in the “country-ish” and thought for sure I’d be a vet. The book series by James Herriot detailing his exploits as a country vet in England was my favorite as a kid. I read the whole series multiple times. I love everything about the idea of being a “country vet.” The dogs and cats, yes, but also the cows and horses and goats and pigs. There was something intriguing to me about being armpit deep in a cow, checking on her baby. And delivering a baby cow … forget about it. How freaking cool would that be?!?

 

 

5: How old were you when you had your first kiss?  Pretty sure my first little kid peck of a kiss was with Tim Pitcock in the hayloft of the barn on his family farm. We were in Kindergarden.  Yep.

6: Do you have any strange or unique phobias?  I have a fairly irrational fear of gas powered cooking devices. To the point where I am absolutley terrified of things like gas stoves and gas grills. I have used a gas stove but to this day have never actually turned on and used a gas grill.  They freak the shit out of me.  Somewhere in my brain all I can see is the damn thing blowing up in my face. I have no idea why I am so afraid of them. I’ve never been personally involved in a gas explosion. But damn they scare me.

 

 

7: If you could bring back one toy from your childhood, what would it be and why?  My BMX bike from my teen years for sure. God I lived on that thing. If I wasn’t out playing in the creek, I was on my bike. Going back further, that Fisher Price Barnyard with the animals stands out vividly in my memory.  I played the hell out of that thing.  Also … Legos. I don’t even need to say any more about that.

8: If you knew today was the last day of your life, how would you spend it?  Doing whatever the fuck I wanted to. I’d start with waking up to zero alarms. Screw alarms. I’d have some coffee and lots of bacon for breakfast, maybe with some other stuff … maybe not. I’d hang out with my kids and Mike and his kids all day. I’d spend as much of it sitting in the sun by a pool as possible, a beach would be even better. I’d drink fun adult beverages in the sun surrounded by my loved ones, reading a book and doing zero things. This

 

is just about as perfect a day as I could have anyway, and why not spend your last day relaxed and happy?

9: If you had to describe yourself using only three words, what would they be?  Caring, Sarcastic, Optimistic

 

10: If you could be any Disney villan, who would you be?  Yzma from Emperor’s New Groove. She is described as “comically eccentric” and I can identify with that. Also, she gets to work with Kronk and let’s face it … I love me some Kronk.

So … that’s that. Some kind of weird questions, but, I’m kind of weird so it all works out. What about you? Any of these questions tickle your fancy? Have any equally weird answers? Are you also quite certain your gas grill is going to kill you? Would you like to stick your arm in a cow’s arse? Let me know in the comments!!

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