Music Is Feelings Put To Words

* NaBloPoMo: Day 10 *

I know that I’m most likely not getting that quote exactly correct, but the concept is the same, and it the main reason I love music so much. It takes my feelings and my desires and all the things I can’t put into words … and gives them words and life and a way to be expressed. Every now and then a song will come along that will absolutely nail what I’m feeling and that happened to me this week. The best part of it is that this was shared among a small group of friends (more of a gang really) who are just trying to find our corner of happiness in this world. We are there for each other and support each other over the long distances between us. We laugh and vent and cry and just do what we need to do to get to the next day sometimes. But we all share the desire to find our best selves and be the best moms we can be and find our happiest selves.

The song I’m sharing today is “She Used To Be Mine” by Sara Bareilles. She wrote it for the musical “Waitress” which is the story of a waitress in a small town, trapped in a loveless marriage, dreaming of a better life. Can you say #nailedit?

I’m gonna do something I don’t normally do but I feel compelled to do … share all of the lyrics. They speak to me so perfectly right now and I want to share them. To type them out on this screen … letting them live through my fingers … reminding myself that you actually can re-write your ending and find that girl that you knew who was just reckless enough and grew stronger every day and found the fire that used to be in her eyes. At least I hope so. Because I need that girl to come back, with her joy and her fire and her happiness. I know she’s out there and I’ve seen glimpses of her, like a shadow through the trees. So maybe this song can be my call to her to come back and stay. I need her.

 

It’s not simple to say, most days I don’t recognize me.

That these shoes and this apron, that this place and it’s patrons have taken more than I gave them

It’s not easy to know, I’m not anything like I used to be, although it’s true

I was never attention’s sweet center

I still remember that girl

 

She’s imperfect, but she tries.  She is good, but she lies.

She is hard on herself.

She is broken and won’t ask for help.

She is messy, but she’s kind. She is lonely most of the time

She is all of this mixed up in a beautiful pie.

She is gone, but she used to be mine.

 

It’s not what I asked for.

Sometimes life just slips in through a back door and carves out a person, and makes you believe it’s all true

And now I’ve got you, and you’re not what I asked for

If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two, for the girl that I knew

 

Who’ll be reckless just enough

Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up when she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love

And then she’ll get stuck and be scared of the life that’s inside her.

Growing stronger each day ‘til it finally reminds her to fight just a little

To bring back the fire in her eyes that’s been gone but used to be mine.

 

She’s messy, but she’s kind

She is lonely most of the time

She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie

She is gone, but she used to be mine.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *